Key Word: Together
by Joseph Walker

He was clearly on the way up--a rising star. Everything he touched turned to gold. Sometimes platinum. Professionally, he was praised and admired. Co-workers were impressed with his professionalism.

Most everyone who knew him predicted extraordinary things for his career.

He was active in the Church and community. He accepted time-consuming responsibilities, and always performed with his whole heart and soul. People raved about how good he was with young people, and how he had made a difference in so many lives.

Except for one thing: he was losing his son.

Don't get me wrong. He wasn't a bad father. He loved his children, and they loved him. They just didn't spend much time together. There was always some project that required his attention, or a church meeting, or a civic responsibility. He spent more time working with some of the kids in his community then he spent with his own children.

And that was OK, he thought. It was important to set an example of industry and service for his children. Besides, he told his wife, "We don't do quantity time. We do quality time."

Only it got to the point that "quality" time consisted mostly of yelling at his son. Often he'd come home late and crawl into bed, worrying about the distance that seemed to be separating him from his son. He'd lay there remembering when the boy was little, how they’d romp and play together, how they'd wrestle and have tickle fights together, and how they'd talk and laugh and sing together.

The man was pretty bright, but it took a long time for him to realize that the key to mending his relationship with his son was in that one word: together. They'd have to work on it together. And the best way to do that was to actually be together. He made some adjustments professionally so he could spend more time at home. He shifted the focus of his church and community service so he could be involved with his son.

As they began spending more time together, their relationship healed. His son's grades improved. They stopped getting telephone calls from concerned teachers and administrators at school. Peace returned to their home.

And even though his employment was suddenly unstable and he was less prominent in hi community and church, the man was happier than he could ever remember being. He had his son back. They were together. And that’s all that mattered.

Now, I’m not going to tell you that every case of teenage rebellion can be eliminated by caring fathers who will focus more of their time and energy at home. But I’m haunted by a remark made by the sister of a slain teenage gangster, “Mom loved him. I loved him. We did all we could. But without a father in his life, he turned to the gang. And now he’s dead.”

Fathers, we’re needed – and not just for a few quality minutes here or there. While most of us pay lip service to how important our families are to us, when it comes right down to it the people who matter the most to us often receive the least from us. They need our time, talent, energy and experience. But mostly, they just need us to be there.

And to be together.

LDS Living Magazine