Breaking Up is Easy to Do
by Dave Ramsey

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Dear Dave,

My husband and I haven’t been out on a date, just the two of us, since our daughter was born earlier this year. It’s really starting to strain our relationship. Most of the babysitters around here charge $40 or $50 a night, and we can’t afford that because we’re trying really hard to get out of debt. Our closest relatives are five hours away. I’m afraid we’re growing apart because of this. Do you have any ideas to help?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I was married for several years before I realized husbands and wives were supposed to have date nights. We survived my ignorance, and things that were a whole lot tougher, but I still think date nights are a great idea. You’ve got to keep the lines of communication open, and one-on-one is how you do that.

I think you’re being a bit dramatic, however, when you say your marriage is unraveling because you haven’t had a date night in a few months. If that’s the case, the fibers were already too loose. The roots of any relationship should be a lot deeper. If yours is falling apart over something like this – especially when you’ve got the great bonding experience of a new baby in the house – then there may be other issues you need to address with a good pastor or marriage counselor.

How about asking friends to help out once in a while and look after the baby for a couple of hours? Maybe you could form a babysitting co-op. There are plenty of other broke couples with babies out there. Take some time to get to know people at work, or in church, who are in similar situations. Then trade off babysitting duties – they take your kid one night, and you take theirs another night.

You could get really creative and work a tradeoff with a trustworthy high school student. Instead of paying them money, you might trade babysitting for something you have to offer. I don’t know a college student alive who wouldn’t jump at the chance for a nice, big home cooked meal once in a while!

– Dave

• For more great financial advice from Dave, please visit www.davesays.org.

Photo by Martin Boulanger

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Saving money on date night Posted by Amy from WA We joined into a babysitting co-op every Saturday night. We watch the children from three other families, including our own, once a month and then have three nights out a month without paying for a sitter. We chose Saturdays from 5-9pm, and each of our families have three kids each. It was a little hectic at first watching 12 little ones for 4 hours, but since we feed them dinner we usually get away with dinner and a movie and a little extra play time. It's been a life saver for all of us! Good luck.
Babysitting for date night Posted by Sandy from Gadsden AL They could also put the baby to bed and have a cozy dinner for two with candles and soft music at home. Get all dressed up, too! Going out is expensive and babysitters are REALLY expensive but a romantic dinner should happen at least once a week (even with beans and rice). Other problems? Get to Church; ask GOD for help!