Bossy Sisters
by Dave Ramsey
| I’m one of five sisters, and our parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary is just around the corner. My two oldest sisters made plans for a party without consulting the rest of us. Now, they want everyone to chip in $1,000 to help pay for things. I’m trying hard to get out of debt, and I just don’t have that kind of money right now. How can I be fair about this?
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Dear Dave,
I’m one of five sisters, and our parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary is just around the corner. My two oldest sisters made plans for a party without consulting the rest of us. Now, they want everyone to chip in $1,000 to help pay for things. I’m trying hard to get out of debt, and I just don’t have that kind of money right now. How can I be fair about this?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Wow, a $5,000 party is pretty big stuff. Since you weren’t asked about this ahead of time and had no say in anything, FAIR would be for you not to pay a dime! That kind of planning without consulting the people involved and helping pay for the event is way out of line.
Don’t let your big sisters lay a guilt trip on you, either. This has nothing to do with how much you love your parents. It has everything to do with communication and consideration, or in this case, a lack of these things on their part.
Just let them know – in a firm but loving way – what your situation is right now. Tell them you’d be happy to chip in what you can, but it won’t be anything close to $1,000.
And tell them next time to check with their little sisters before hatching up an expensive plan like this!
Dave
Posted by Karen
from Magna Utah
dear little sister my heart breaks for you for what your sisters did to you but like Dave said dont let them hurt you any more go to the party for your Mom and Dad and have agood time but dont lt them hurt you again over it and please dont hold bad feelings over it that will only hurt you more
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Posted by Diane
from Huntsville, AL
I'm the oldest of 4 sisters...and Dave says it right. Your sisters had NO RIGHT to plan something like this without consulting all siblings, especially since the price is so high. Pay what you can, and if ZERO is what you can afford, so be it. Better to be out of debt.
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Posted by Deborah
from Killeen (Fort Hood), TX
I have been in exactly the same situation. My sisters planned an anniversary for my parents then asked for money. I explained that I could not give that much money, but that I would be happy to make table decorations and centerpieces for all the tables. I also offered to make name cards, table place cards or anything else they needed. I told them I would make anything they needed, I could make things relatively cheap.
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Posted by Patricia
from Soon, Adelaide in Australia
I agree 100% with you suggestion. There is nothing wrong in being asked to make money contribution towards your parents big day. But as a mother of four boys, I would hate it if any one of my boys was omitted from by making a contribution that only each and every one could give.
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