Surviving on the Mercies of Motherhood


People think I’m crazy when I tell them I love childbirth. It’s not that I like pain—I don’t. But there is just something about working really hard to get something really good. My husband and I have the routine down: we do whatever it takes to get through a contraction, then I slump back on the bed, as limp and peaceful as a noodle (as peaceful as a noodle can be) and rest before the next one hits. It’s hard work, but when the baby is finally born, the pain doesn’t matter anymore—and I experience joy beyond description. (Then I swear I’ll never do it again.)

It has recently occurred to me that childbirth can be one huge metaphor for motherhood. We “labor” day in and day out, moment by moment—scrubbing, brushing, wiping, flushing, buckling, holding, washing, folding—it’s a wonder more mothers don’t drop dead from pure exhaustion!

So here’s my theory: Heavenly Father knew how challenging motherhood would be for each of us—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. So He sends us “mother mercies.” You know the moments—the ones that sneak up on you and make you smile or laugh—or teary-eyed. It’s like the time I caught a whiff of my five-year-old and realized he’d put on his daddy’s deodorant that morning. Or when he used to pray nightly, “Please bless that morning will come in five minutes.” It’s the time I found a bar of soap in my bathroom with one (and only one) set of teeth marks in it. Or when my preschooler asked me, “Why did Jesus cover our bones with skin?”

Perhaps these little mercies are like the pauses between our contractions of motherhood—the moments that make us say, “Oh yeah. I really love this mothering stuff.”

Contraction: Baby spits up.
Mother Mercy: Three-year-old cries in alarm, “Mom! She’s spilling!”

Contraction: Five-year-old climbs on counter to find sweets.
Mother Mercy: He explains he was simply finding desert for “Family Home Ming-Ming.”

Contraction: Patting your squishy tummy left over from pregnancy.
Mother Mercy: Patting your baby’s squishy tummy that you got in return.

Contraction: Feeling overwhelmed and grumpy.
Mother Mercy: Oldest child says sweetly, “Mommy, if you say a prayer, Heavenly Father will help you feel better.”

Think about it—what an interesting phenomenon—in our very hardest moments of mothering, Heavenly Father sends us these little flashes of reprieve to help us keep going with a smile. True, we have diapers and back-talking and tantrums and spills, but we also get kisses and first steps and stick-figure drawings and hand-pulled bouquets.

Look for the Mother Mercies in your own life. I promise they will pop up everywhere—when your toddler trips the alarm at the library (like mine did) or when he pours pop down the bowling alley lane (yes, mine) or when you find your envious child stripped down to his nothings at the park, staring longingly through the fence into the city pool (Whose kid is that? Oh, it’s mine). The Mother Mercies are always there. Don’t miss them!

One Sunday while I was juggling my three little ones, an older sister in my ward leaned over and said, “This will all end someday, believe me.” To which I replied, “Oh don’t tell me that! I’m having so much fun.” Who knew that doing something so hard could bring me so much happiness? And just like the finale of childbirth, I’m hopeful that this mothering thing—this exhausting labor of love—will someday bring us joy we could never comprehend was possible.


Whitney Permann is originally from Idaho Falls, Idaho but currently lives in Spanish Fork, Utah with her husband Rock and their three children Braden, Gavin and Calyn. Some of her favorite things include reading, writing, singing, being a mom, Tide© laundry detergent, and homemade chicken noodle soup. She is also a member of Deseret Book’s newest recording group Mercy River, whose debut album released in April 2008. Visit www.MercyRiverMusic.com for more information.

Comments on this article ADD COMMENT
MERCIES OF MOTHERHOOD
Posted by DIANE
from REXBURG, ID

I TRULY ENJOYED READING THIS ARTICLE. I AM THE MOTHER OF 5 CHILDREN. I HAVE 3 SONS ALL IN THEIR UPPER 20'S AND HAD MANY MOMENTS I WILL CHERISH FOREVER THAT AROSE IN AND AROUND FEARS, CONCERNS AND WORRIES THAT LASTED FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. I ALSO HAVE TWO DAUGHTER 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN THE YOUNGEST SON. THE NEW CHERISHED MOMENTS WITH MY DAUTHERS ARE SO DIFFERENT FROM THOSE I HAD WITH MY SONS BUT THEY ARE SO SPECIAL AS WELL. I HAVE HAD HEALTH TRIALS IN MY LIFE AND STRUGGLES WITH FINANCE ETC. BUT WHEN I SEE MY FIVE WONDERFUL GIFTS FROM GOD BEEMING WITH SUCCESS AND A TRUE DESIRE TO SERVE THE LORD, NOTTHING CAN STOP THE SPREAD OF GRATITUDE THAT GROWS IN MY HEART. BEING "THE MOM" HAS BEEN THE GREATEST GIFT GOD HAVE EVER GIVEN ME.
WOW! I really needed this!
Posted by Carrie
from Farmington, UT

Crazy as it seems, I have been up with my 2 and 4 year old since 3:30am and couldn't get back to sleep. This has been a pattern all week! No sleep, running errands, taking care of the house and 4 kids, along with all the other things we do as mothers. I started to randomly search the internet and read my e-mails. By accident, I stumbled onto this article. Tears filled my eyes as I read Whitney's thoughts and experiences on being a mother. This is just what I needed to read before Mother's Day. I was really feeling sorry for myself. But thankfully, she has given me a new perspective and energy on looking for my own "mother mercies" within the "labor" of my day. Thank you for giving me the best Mother's Day gift - a fun perspective on the chaos of Motherhood! I really needed to laugh and cry at the same time!
Mother mercies
Posted by Leann
from Washington

Loved this article. Struck true for me and my 9 beautiful children. Labor was hard and exhausting, but looking into our baby's face after labor was all worth the work and effort. They are truly God-sent. And from birth to adulthood (my oldest is 20 in a few days)there are so many "mother mercies" especially when you look for them!
Great Metaphor
Posted by Barbara
from California

A fun article! I loved childbirth, too, and even the doctors make fun of that. I also loved the metaphor. That's just how it is. Thank you.
Don't forget...
Posted by Gail
from Colorado

When your teeth ache and your jaw is tight because you've been clenching your teeth all day trying not to yell at the kids and thinking that you've done a barely passable job, and one of the kids comes up, gives you a BIG hug and says "Mom, I LOVE you!!" Ok, so scrape me off the floor with a spoon!
Thank you
Posted by Peggy
from Arizona

Your article brought laughter and tears to my eyes. It really makes you wonder how our mother in heaven reacts to all of us here on earth.