Signs of a Struggle
by Jennifer C. Jones

They could be your son, your little brother, or the boy next door. They have endearing smiles and typical teen banter. But these boys are very different. When other little boys were playing soccer, building Pinewood Derby cars, or preparing for baptism, these boys were looking at pornography. Sometimes it took their parents years to find out and seek treatment.

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Each of these boys tried to stop their addiction on their own, but they were unsuccessful, and all of them acted out in a sexual fashion against another person. Today these boys, all under 18, are residents of Oxbow Academy, a residential treatment center in Wales, Utah, that is designed specifically to help them break their addiction to pornography.

Here is what they say parents should know:

• If your child starts spending more time on the computer then with his friends, there’s a problem.

• If the child appears suspicious or gets defensive about computer use, there could be a problem, especially if he becomes angry and accuses parents of not trusting him. “It’s a dead giveaway when they try to turn it around on you and make it your fault,” says one student.

• “Don’t ask your child if they’re addicted,” advises another boy. “Ask them if they’ve tried to stop. If they can’t stop, they’re addicted.”

• Don’t wait. Get your child professional help as soon as you discover the problem.

• Understand computer basics. All three boys admitted they would erase their computer history. But sometimes parents can catch porn sites by checking the “cookies” list.

• Don’t rely on a computer filtering system. Many teens are so computer savvy they can easily crack them.

• Make sure your child knows you will love him—no matter what. “I wish I had felt I could tell my parents,” one boy admits. “I thought what I was doing was so bad they wouldn’t love me any more.”

Visit oxbowacademy.net or call (435) 590-7198 for more information.

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